When the zombies attack, I’m sticking with my daughter.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Aww, what a super awesome dad who will be protective over his baby girl.”
To which I say, “Um, yeah, that.”
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Author: Mike Gibbons
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May 2014 be the year we change the world
As 2014 dawns on us, it is time we band together to do all those things in the upcoming year to make our society the greatest the world have ever known. And it will only take a few quick tweaks of our current ways of being to make that dream a reality. Thus, this year, as a society, we shall resolve to do these things:
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When did you first see him?
When did you first see him?
It was, I’m pretty sure, 1980 for me.
When I was a kid, Christmas morning was always celebrated in our living room. In my parents’ house the staircase that leads down to the first floor is next to a wall that separates us from our Christmas bounty. The third step was key – no descent past the third step.
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Shoulder burden
In light of the years-long plague of performance-enhancing drugs in pretty much every sport, it’s time I came clean: I’m on steroids.
Granted the steroids I’m on aren’t the type that will let me hit a baseball 900 feet. Mine, so I am told, are the type that will let me lift a plain old grocery bag with my left arm without wincing in pain. But I felt a confession would be healthy either way.
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How to be Awesome On Demand
There are many important traits needed to be a good father. But clearly, the one that stands head and shoulders above them all is the ability to be Awesome On Demand.
When a dad exhibits AOD, you can see it in the children’s face. Their eyes light up and their mouths go ajar and they stare in fascination as they realize that their dad is the most awesome dad ever.
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But what I really want to do is direct…
You know the old slogan: “But what I really want to do is direct.”
Turns out, there’s a reason for it. Directing is awesome.
Now I’m not suggesting Spielberg and I are going to be doing lunch dates any time soon, but my stage directorial debut has been an absolute blast.
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Saying goodbye to an old friend
Farewell, noble warrior. Your service will never be forgotten.
Alas, today I bid adieu to a trusted family member who was always there to make sure our family was complete. Goodbye, coffee maker.
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Shoe do you love?
I have to go shoe shopping.
Did I mention I rank “go shoe shopping” just a smidge above being “be beaten with a shovel” on my list of “Things I’d Rather Not Do Today”?
Now I’m sure you’re asking, “Why do you keep that list? And just how long is it?”
The other night, I was sitting on the back deck, pecking away diligently on a column, when I heard my wife inside announce, “If I see another candy wrapper in my house, you’re never eating candy in here again!”
When I was in high school, I attended a Metallica concert. It was the loudest thing I have ever experienced. Until I chaperoned a middle school dance.
There were actually two school dances that night – my son is in fifth grade, and the first dance was for fifth through seventh graders. That would be my detail. The second dance was for eighth grade and up. My daughter is in eighth grade. She would be fine with me at home, thank you very much, she informed me.