May 2020 – Mike's Life

There is a thief in my midst. And I plan on catching him red-handed. Or, actually, probably, fur-pawed. But I will catch this thief.

I have five feeders set up in my yard. They are primarily squirrel feeders, despite the more common name of bird feeders.

For the past several years I have had a hard time getting birds to come around to my feeders. My first thought was the pair of nesting barred owls that we hear all of the time. And then my thought was, “Well, then why are there still squirrels?” To which I answered because squirrels can clearly spontaneously replicate, and an eliminating one makes two appear. It’s a never-ending battle.

But this year, I noticed the squirrels had been joined by a collection of birds. Nothing to exotic, but it’s been nice to see timouse, chickadees, cardinals and bluejays flitting about. We have seen some bluebirds in the neighborhood, so I’ve been putting out mealworms for them, as they supposedly love them. However, I have yet to lure any over, but I have found that the broad-headed skinks at my front porch really love them, and I have taken to feeding them on a regular basis. Generally, it takes about 10 seconds tops for one of them – usually Big Boy, Scar or Mama; yes, they have names, and your point?) to appear and chow down. (Click here to see video of Mama having a snack, and Big Boy running her off: https://vimeo.com/421790749)

I had been making sure to keep the feeders full, and even added a couple of suet stations. In a matter of a couple of days, two downy woodpeckers began to appear and peck away at the suet, and it has just occurred to me that I have not given names.

One day recently, after the suits were fairly depleted, I replaced them both as I refilled the feeders (after first feeding the skinks, of course). It was nearing dusk, so I knew it would probably be morning before the birds and squirrels hit the buffet.

The next morning, I awoke and went outside to enjoy my morning coffee. And I glanced over at one of the suets. Nothing there. Empty. Completely gone.

I hoped this was just a one-off, and vowed to replace the suet the next time I went to the store.

The next morning, I came out again for my morning coffee. I looked at the other suet holder. Empty as well. Two nights. Two thefts.

Now, I know how long the birds and squirrels take to work away some suet, so I know this is not their handiwork. And I have a fence around my yard, so it’s doubtful some wandered through my backyard and took it. You know what? If I DIDN’T have a fence around my yard I would be doubtful someone wandered through and took it, because that would be exceptionally weird.

So now I plan to catch the thief in the act. I have replaced the suet, and have also mounted a wildlife camera on the fence, facing directly at the suet. And when that thief returns and steals my suet again, well, I will have pictures, probably of a raccoon. But at least I will know for certain.

If the culprit is confirmed, I haven’t decided if I will leave it out overnight and continue to enjoy the visits, or bring the suet in each night and return it the next morning. That’s a decision to be made later, and one on which I will consult with a handful of my nature experts, as they are really into the outdoor feeding stations. Their names are Big Boy, Scar and Mama.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

I enjoy baking and cooking, and I have certainly gotten my share of new kitchen adventures over the past three months.

I have done slow-cooker bread. I have learned lots of new recipes for our fairly new Instant Pot. I have made my fudge that I call Hurricane Fudge, as I usually make it when I am riding out a hurricane, but I consider this current disrailing of life an acceptable substitute for a named storm. I have even taken my initial plunge into homebrewing, of which I can give you an update in a couple of weeks.

But my wife and I recently took on a kitchen challenge that we have been really wanting to get to for a few months.

In a previous reality we all operated in, my wife traveled a lot for business. And she often stayed in DoubleTree hotels. So you can imagine her excitement a few months back when Hilton released the recipe for the DoubleTree chocolate chip cookies they give you at check-in. And while you are imaging it, you can also imagine my attempt at a reaction to her excitement, since I have never experienced said DoubleTree cookies.

Now, I love a good cookie. Big fan. But admittedly I was kind of skeptical of her excitement of this particular recipe, because let’s be honest – just how good can this cookie be?

And now that we have made said cookies, I retract any of my skepticism and apologize profusely for not sharing her excitement, and for waiting two months to make the cookies.

We are doing our grocery shopping once a week these days, which is probably a better plan even without a pandemic, to be honest. We plan out our week of meals, and I go to the store, usually early on a Sunday morning, and get all of our necessary items. As we were making this week’s list, she said, “We should make the DoubleTree cookies.” So let’s add the ingredients to the list.

I have never made cookies with this many ingredients. Many of them were already on hand, but as we were reviewing the recipe – https://newsroom.hilton.com/static-doubletree-reveals-cookie-recipe.htm – I was amazed at how much stuff went into the cookies.

When I got home from the grocery store, my wife and I went through our routine – we sanitize all the products we’ve brought home and put them in their appropriate places. After retrieving our mixer and putting it on the counter, I began to put all of the cookie part purchases next to it to prep. I then went to the cupboard, the pantry and the fridge to get the rest of the recipe items. When I had all of the recipe items stacked on the counter, I said, “That’s a lot of stuff.”

I followed the recipe to the letter, mixing and pouring and adding just as they said to do.

Toward the end of the recipe, I went full tag-team with my wife, and tagged her into the match. This is because we were at the point of the recipe where (a) the mixer gets a little clogged up with the mix (b) you have to stir in the chocolate chips and nuts and (c) you spoon the cookie dough onto a cookie sheet,

I passed this part off to my wife because (a) I don’t have patience (b) I don’t have patience and (c) I don’t have patience.

The recipe calls for you to let the cookies set for one hour after cooking. After about three minutes of them sitting on the kitchen counter, their smell wafting through our house, I said, “Do I have to wait an hour?” My wife didn’t have to say it, but I knew she was thinking about the fact that I routinely burn my mouth by eating pizza too quickly after removing the oven. I’m 47-years-old and can’t resist. “Fine,” she said. I dove in. It was indeed hot, but manageable. And it was the most amazing cookie I have ever had. I grabbed a glass of cold milk, and it was heaven.

I had a couple more before dinner, but showed some restraint and did not have cookies for dinner. We will continue to do our kitchen explorations with new and exciting recipes, but I am not sure we can top this one. Unless we can figure out to make pizza you can eat the moment you take it out of the oven.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.