Month: March 2020

Hi, friends. Y’all doing OK? 

I know this has been a tough run of late. But we are all in this together. Except, you know, not, like, close together.

I’m not going to give you any great insight on how we are all gonna power through this. Because I’m no wiser than anyone else on the planet, and let’s be honest – the wisest people on the planet are all kinda figuring this out as we go. Because these are unprecedented times. But I did want to perhaps offer you some distraction action to get you through your quarantine.

So here is what I can give you: A few things you can do during this time to keep your sanity. Also, I will not remind you to wash your hands, because let’s be honest – if you haven’t gotten that message by now…

• Bake bread. But not the traditional way. My aunt shared a way to cook bread in a slow cooker. I was skeptical at first, but after doing it, I am sold. A couple of hours in a slow cooker, a few minutes under a broiler and – BOOM! – delicious fresh bread. Recipe here: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a54771/slow-cooker-bread-recipe/?fbclid=IwAR3pOeQRWvNe2O-9ta8fI4A0kKQYIhbrLN9p0p6zNbBIJIl6nCePV1v9A3s
• Inventory your spices. If you are like me, you have a lot of spices. I had two shelves full of spices we have collected over the years. And fun fact – spices have expiration dates on them. I challenge you to go and assess yours and see just how up to date your marjoram and coriander are. And also to tell me what in the world marjoram and coriander are for.
• Feed the birds. Obviously, if you have bird seed, make it plentiful for them. But if you are cleaning out your fridge or pantry and have some mushy tomatoes or stale crackers, share it with your winged buddies.
• Find a podcast that is a delightful distraction from reality. Personally, I recommend Stuff You Should Know, a podcast that I have listened to for years. Among the topics you can explore – “Was there a real King Arthur,” “The amazing history of soda,” and “How pinball works.” Trust me – it’s the kind of distraction you need right now.
• Scroll through your contacts. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Over the last few days, I’ve connected with buddies from high school and college, and enjoyed catching up with them beyond social media. There really is no substitute for one-on-one conversations.
• Tune out. Not forever. But just on occasion. My wife and I sat watching morning news programs on Sunday and we both came to this realization – we cannot let this consume us. We will watch the evening news and stay informed, but sitting in front of a tv or, worse, in front of Twitter refreshing ad nauseam is not healthy. We spent our Sunday working in the yard, and it was a wonderful day. We don’t deny that Corona is out there. But we don’t have to spend every minute thinking about it. Control what we can control.
• Say hi to your neighbors. We have been walking a good bit lately, just to get out of the house. And we have found a ton of neighbors out in their yards or walking dogs or riding bikes. We have loved stopping and chatting with folks and just shooting the breeze. We are all starved for personal interaction, so why not start with the folks who live in your neighborhood?
• Take a class. There are a ton of higher education institutions offering free classes during this time. My wife is now enrolled in a class at Yale. Go be an Ivy Leaguer.

I know this is a tough time. None of us have it figured out. But the ironic beauty of it all is that is a great equalizer: We are all going through this together. Rich and poor, young and old. This is an equal opportunity disrailer. So rather than despair, embrace this time. Do some things you wouldn’t have normally done. And figure out if your marjoram is out of date.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

We may be late to the party, but we have finally joined the Instant Pot club.

I know that plenty of folks are waaaay ahead of us on this front. But we were … busy … or something.

For those of you non familiar with Instant Pot, it’s a brand of pressure cooker. There may be others, but that’s the only one I can tell you off the top of my head. Also, I used to think it was called Insta Pot, but I guess I was shortening it because that’s what we cool kids do.

My wife was very excited about the Instant Pot, as she is one of these people who loves to prep meals in advance and also loves a good soup. The Instant Pot, she told me, would be a game changer on both fronts.

Now I do my fair share of cooking, and I feel like I know my way around a kitchen pretty well. So you can imagine my bewilderment when I unboxed the Instant Pot and had the realization that, hey, I have no idea how to use this thing.

Now, lest you think I’m that old cliche of men not reading directions, I’m not. I’m very good at following directions, in particular when installing things or assembling stuff. But when it comes to directions on operating things, I will admit to getting enough information to get rolling, and maybe not following all the way through. Fortunately, my wife is.

She took the time to read the directions, and then patiently explained to me how things worked. (Her time as a pre-K teacher really paid off.) Soon, we had the ingredients for our first meal – a chicken pot pie soup (https://tinyurl.com/t453cbu) – in the cooker.

“So we push the button and it’s ready in an instant?”

My wife sighed. OK, so maybe listening isn’t always my strongest trait. Turns out, the Instant in Instant Pot does not refer to a magical space age zap button that Instantly makes dinner. “I mean, it says Instant right there in the name.”

She ignored me, pushed a few buttons, and I saw a timer start. I noted that 30 minutes is NOT instant.

When the soup was ready, I have to say, even if it was instant, it was one of the best soups I have ever had. I even had second, which I very rarely do at dinner.

We have now used the Instant Pot about a half dozen times, and each time it was a home run. (Just last night we had a chicken soup (https://tinyurl.com/w5h8qoe) that was delish.) Last night’s soup was a prime example of hour you can do the prep work ahead of time and just dump it all in together when you’re ready. We added the chicken straight up frozen, and it came out perfect. So I guess maybe the Instant refers to that. If you do enough legwork, “You can get dinner started in an Instant.” (Instant Pot, please message me for PayPal information for this amazing slogan. You’re welcome, and I don’t even need to Google this to know that no one else could have possibly come up with the same thing.)

My wife and I have enjoyed finding various recipes and bookmarking them to try later. And I am finding that it’s one of the rare times I don’t hate having a giant essay before the recipe, as it helps me learn the Instant Pot process. (Pro tip – Google Chrome’s recipe filter sniffs out those essays and brings the recipe to the top. Good changer.)

Most likely, we will look at finding some Sundays to prep a few meals and store them so they can wait until they are called into duty. We will get dinner started in an Instant. Or an Insta, as the cool kids say.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

Those of you who have read my column for a while know that one of my recurring themes is my loathing of rogue shopping carts left in parking lots.

And I appreciate all that you have done to help stem the tide of this menace. And while the battle against non-returned shopping carts is not yet won, it is clear we have the high ground. We are legion, and we are going to eventually get every used shopping cart to its proper home.

I am proud of everyone who has enlisted in the cart army, and your work is valiant.

So now, I ask you, noble cart warriors and other defenders of things that make the world kind of a bit more decent: It’s time to turn our focus to another menace.

We’ve got to take on dog poop. And I’m not talking about cleaning up when you’re walking your dog. I think the vast majority of folks are in full agreement about carrying bags with you and taking care of your dog’s business. Yes, there are a few people who do not clean up after their dogs, but you already know they don’t return their carts. So let’s focus on the real problem: Bag droppers.

I have noticed of late that there are a lot of people who walk their dogs, dutifully bag up their mess and then, rather than taking said bags to a proper disposal station, just … drop them.

I have a trail I like to hike on a regular basis. On my last hike, I picked up five bags that were left along the trail. Now, you may think, “Hey, Mike, perhaps these folks had just dropped these bags and were going to pick them up on their way back.” Two problems with that:

The trail I hike is a loop. They weren’t coming back this way.
I saw a social media post recently that showed where folks walking over a particular bridge over a train track had been pitching these bags off the edge, leaving a big pile of poop bags piled up. And those folks certainly aren’t circling back on that trail to pick up the bags. Also, in the picture, it shows several different kinds of bags disposed, which tells me this isn’t just a lone poop pitcher.

Now, unlike grocery carts, this is not the thing we can easily start fighting just through our actions. If someone leaves a cart, it’s easy to go and snag the cart and send the very clear message that you are making the world a better place. The dog bags are dropped surreptitiously. We never see it happen. We just have to pick it up or leave it. And struggle with the very real inner thought of, “Why did you even bother bagging it? At least if you didn’t bag it the poop would go away eventually.”

So what do we do? Simple. We stay nice. We pick up the bags. And as we pass our fellow travelers, we hold up the bags and say things like, “Crazy that folks don’t pick up their bags!?!?!?” If someone were to say that to me, my response would be, “I know, right!?!?!” Granted, I’d also probably be carrying a fistful of bags in my hand.

But if you were to say it to someone who drops their bags, maybe they would get the picture and stop doing it. And if you are someone who does drop your bags, I’d love to hear from you. E-mail me and tell me why it’s a good call or what I’m missing. I’d love to hear your explanation. I’ve done the same challenge to cart abandoners, and I have gotten a total of two responses over the years: (1) “It’s not my job.” (Vounteer: True, but it’s also not your job to have my car hit by your rogue cart in a parking lot and (2) “It IS my job to gather carts, and I really like when I can leave the store and spend forever chasing carts down and listening to music and not have to bag groceries.” (Counter: I don’t have a lot for that one).

So in closing, let’s put our energies to spreading the word through actions: Pick up your dog waste. And dispose of it properly. It’s as easy as returning a grocery cart.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.