July 2022 – Mike's Life

Having just returned from a vacation to New York City, I have this breaking news: That is a big city.

Now, I know you are all aghast at this shocking revelation, but it’s true. It’s big. Really, really big.

I have been to plenty of big cities. But it really is staggering just how big it is. It’s so … tall. My wife is from Atlanta. The tallest building in Atlanta would be something like the 15th tallest building in NYC. I am from South Carolina, and the tallest building in the whole state would be … well, probably demolished along with several other buildings to build a building five times taller.

My wife, daughter and I went for a whirlwind tour and went full tourist in The Big Apple because, well, we were tourists. My wife had a business trip the following week, in which she had to be in work mode, but we decided we would go do all the fun touristy things the weekend prior. And we checked a lot of the boxes we wanted to do. Among the highlights:

We saw three Broadway shows, and they were all amazing. My daughter is a huge theater fan, and she was absolutely fan-girling the whole time, especially after shows when you can gather at the stage door and maybe interact with the cast as they leave. I am fairly sure her favorite moment was getting selfies with various cast members from Into the Woods. For me, it was seeing our daughter get her program signed by Billy Crystal after seeing Mr. Saturday Night. And to the dude behind me shouting, “You look mahvelous” over and over – Hate to break it to you, pal, but he’s heard that one before.
We turned on the television in our hotel room one time during our visit, and that was on our last night when I was curious what the local news broadcast was like. And it was like any other. Started with the weather, and it focused on the scorching heat wave that was gripping the city. It WAS in fact hot, but as we had all noted, yeah, summer is like this. Guess a lifetime in the South helps with that.
Times Square is … interesting. While we are all normally very friendly folks wherever we go, we also know when the best bet is just to keep moving and not engage. And when a very short Ironman, a dumpy Spider-man, and two women with painted-on American flag bikinis are strolling by you, you just keep your eyes forward and keep on toward your destination.
After two days there, my wife and I were commenting on how the folks we had interacted with had actually been quite pleasant and kind, dispelling the myth of the brash New Yorker. And then we went to a small bakery and someone at a table with his family had parked his stroller in a spot that apparently blocked someone’s apartment door, which angered the tenant. Words were exchanged, the tenant pushed a bike toward the man and it hit his stroller, with the baby in it. More words got exchanged, and suddenly the two men were face to face yelling at each other, as the man’s wife stepped in to intervene. Just as it was de-escalating, my daughter tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Did you notice how everyone else just kept on having their conversations at other tables?” Clearly locals, just used to this, I guess.
Speaking of locals, I found that they were my guides when navigating the streets. We walked a lot – almost 20 miles in 3 days – and we quickly learned that crosswalk signs were mere suggestions. Our cheat code: find the older woman with a bag of groceries or the jogger pushing a stroller or the young professional who was also on a business call at the intersection. When they go, you go. 100 percent success rate crossing roads.
We did a bunch of awesome other stuff – Top of the Rock, Central Park, The Met, and more – and it was a great time. I was exhausted when I got home, but glad we had such a fantastic trip. I look forward to my next trip, but for the meantime, I’ll keep my feet planted where it isn’t quite so big.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

While you were sleeping…

I woke up like I usually do most mornings. I headed downstairs and start the coffee, then make my way back upstairs to get showered and dressed for work. When I get back downstairs, I’ll usually take some time to check some emails and news sites and just get my bearings before I start my day.

As I was glancing over emails, I saw one that was from me, with nothing but a subject line. It was sent at 4:30 in the morning, and the subject line read simply, “Camera.” I don’t know about you, but at 4:30 most mornings, I’ve been asleep for quite a while.

I sat for a second and then some of the previous night began to fill itself in. But just a little bit.

See, I have always been a really hard sleeper and for most of my life have been an avid sleep talker and occasional sleep walker.

As a man approaching my 50s, I do occasionally wake in the middle of the night (thanks, nature!), which is usually followed by a quick nature break and then a sojourn back to bed for a few more hours.

I recalled that in the middle of my previous sleep, during an evening biobreak, I had awoken from a dream and had to remind myself of … something.

Somewhere in between I’m guessing 4:29 and 4:30, I was awake enough to email myself that I needed to remember “camera,” but by 7 a.m., the reason why had totally evaporated.

I racked my brains for the better of the next day, I was trying to remember what I was telling myself. This has happened in other fashions over the years. Prior to email being on our phones, it was in the form of a notepad I used to keep by my bed. I would occasionally wake up and see a note from Sleeping Mike that read, like, “Pancake house” or “Bubble swan” or something equally weird.

At work, I told a few coworkers about this cryptic message mostly-sleeping me had sent. We went through various scenarios it could have been. One popular theory was that “camera” was an autocorrect for something. But what?!?! I mean, did I misspell “Camper”? “Canberra”? “Cambridge”?

I was at a loss. I spent the rest of the day spending way more time than I probably should have trying to figure out what it was about, but my brain was simply not going to unlock the mysteries of sleepy me.

And then a few days later, it all came rushing back to me. I took my car to one of those car wash places that also has free vacuums, which is one of our greatest inventions. As is my habit when I go to these places, I make a point of checking every nook and cranny to make sure I’ve got all of the unnecessary things out of my car. I opened a lid on a small area of my console, just to make sure I hadn’t stashed any old receipts or the like there. And out it tumbled. A receipt from a photo lab at a nearby pharmacy, where I had dropped off a disposable film camera weeks ago.

You see, I was going through a file cabinet at work and found this old camera from probably way before I worked for the organization. I decided to get it developed and see what mysteries it held. And this is where dream Mike entered the equation and decided to spice it up. I began to remember the dream, and the camera came back with amazing photos from some of the most significant events in history, many before a camera was invented. In my dream, there were shots of the pyramids being built, of Lincoln being inaugurated, of Gutenberg rolling out the first printed book. I was excited for all of about three seconds until my non-dream brain reminded me that this was probably a bunch of pictures of, like, a company Christmas party or something.

I’m glad the mystery was finally solved, and I am eager to get the pictures back. I know they will probably not be that exciting. But the fact that there’s a chance that it could be of the pyramids has my fingers crossed.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.