I’m sure you’re like me, and you recently had a meat nap interrupted by a mouse.
Lest you think I am just stringing together random words, let me explain.
I was asked to judge a barbecue contest. And I think we can all agree the single greatest question anyone can be asked is, “Would you like to come eat a whole bunch of barbecue?”
I’ve always been the laundry guy in our house.
I’m good at it (even though it’s not that difficult), and I actually kinda like it. I wash copious amounts of clothes and dry them, leaving them in a big pile by the dryer. At that point, I turn on a good movie or a football game and mindlessly fold enough clothes to outfit everyone in Toledo.
Bike Boot Camp was a success.
The goal of Bike Boot Camp was to get my two 6-year-old nephews, Nick and Sam, off of their training wheels and into the wide-open world of two-wheeled freedom. The idea of the intense, no-fail-allowed sessions was the brainstorm of my dad, who would serve as the Drill Sergeant for this exercise. We were at a family trip down at the beach, so we opted for low tide, which could give us the maximum amount of easy riding beach before someone plunged into the Atlantic Ocean.
One would think the simple act of reaching down to pick up your keys would not send you reeling back in pain and create a cascade of blood down your face.
Mainly, you would think that because rarely when you pick up a dropped item do you get your head split open.
So, you’re a teenager now.
Yes, Allison Nicole, you have finally reached the mountaintop you have eyed for so long. No longer will you have to say you’re “almost a teenager.” You are there. Congratulations.
If there is one thing I can say about a week at the beach with my entire family, it’s, “Wow, that was an incredible amount of family time!”
That sentence can be taken two very different ways. For those of you who don’t get to connect with your family on a regular basis, you may be pining for a family reunion or a Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday, thinking, “Gosh, I wish we could get together more often.”
Whenever my kids get into it, I am quick to point out that siblings do not treat each other that way. They treat each other with love, kindness and respect. And then I look around to make sure my three older sisters aren’t standing around, possibly bursting into uncontrollable laughter.
I thought my job was done.
It has been a while since I have written about grocery carts. I thought the cart warriors had won the war, and all carts were being returned to their proper places. Sadly, I have noticed of late that those in rebellion of common courtesy have begun to pop up again. We drove the villains to their hiding spots, but they have become emboldened again, emerging from their dark hiding spots to wreak havoc on humanity.
I am glad my kids are at the age where going to the movies is a fully enjoyable experience.
Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed taking them to movies when they were younger. But to say that it was fully enjoyable would be, well, a lie. Taking a small child to a movie is like taking a small monkey to a movie, only one with a much a smaller bladder.
So there I was in the kitchen, busily covering my entire body with insect repellant, the “Pshhhhh” of the can covering me in protection.
I am one of the most delicious people on the planet to mosquitoes, and if I so much as think about going outside, enormous welts will pop all over my body on the mere thought of providing the blood sucking buffet for my neighborhood menaces.