Author: Mike Gibbons

If you spend enough (or worse, too much) time on social media you will begin to develop the very grim view that the world is overrun with very angry, very unpleasant people. 

People who will gladly say something in a comment just to upset someone else.

People who will delight in saying or doing something that they know will hurt someone else.

People who are, well, mean.

And if you’re not careful, you can start to think, “Well, there it is. People are just awful.”

So it’s nice to see that sometimes, you are reminded of why in the real world – away from their keyboards and more representative of the vocal minority of people online – people are fundamentally decent.

We found this out recently when my son lost his camera. He is an avid nature photographer, and goes out most every day to find critters and photograph them. He has a very nice camera that was a gift from his grandparents. It was one of the last gifts his Pop gave to him before passing away.

My son had gone out one night and after a stop to photograph a copperhead he found, he set the camera on the bumper of his car. And he drove off. He didn’t realize that he had set the camera there until he got home, around 11:30 at night.

He went into panic mode when he realized what had happened. So we hopped in the car, and made the 45 minute drive out into the woods to look for it in the middle of the night. Nothing.

The next day, my wife posted a Facebook message about the camera, as well as our son’s love of nature and the sentimental value of the camera. Parker and I went and blanketed the area with signs hoping that some good Samaritan had driven by and seen it and had it for safekeeping.

After more than a week, we still haven’t recovered the camera. And that’s a bummer. If the person who has the camera decided it was now theirs, I hope they enjoy it and the thousands of nature pics on it, and also appreciates that the camera was one of the final gifts a grandfather gave to his grandson.

But this column isn’t for that person. No, rather it is for:

• The hundreds of people who shared the post.
• The people who responded to my wife’s post saying, “I have shared this post to (insert community here) forum! Hope you find it!”
• The people who sent messages expressing their hope that it was found.
• The gentleman who messaged my wife and said he and his husband often biked out there, and they would be on the lookout for it.
• The person who called me from the woods and said, “Hey, I saw your sign. Can you tell me where you think you lost it so I can be on the lookout?”
• The people who contacted us who had searched various online shopping sites to see if they could find it posted for sale somewhere.
• The people who reached out to offer to donate replacement cameras.

Because those are really who we are. I have to believe that. It’s not the people on social media who take delight in being mean to other people online. It’s not the people who go in the streets and yell at peaceful protesters. It’s not the people who willfully spread falsehoods and lies and inflammatory and hateful rhetoric online.

Yes, they exist. 

But for the most part, we are better. We are a good people. And we need not be poisoned by the bad who are trying to drown out the good.

Embrace the good. Thank you, good people. And keep being you. And be loud about your good. Because it matters in the world.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

I am not a patient shopper. Nor am I necessarily a well researched shopper. Which is why any major purchases (anything, say, over $5 or so) should probably be run through my wife first.

She is one of these people who will spend time, you know, seeing if a product is good or not.

Me? Not so much.

Take, for example, our microwave. When we moved to our new home about six year ago, we had some time while I was at the new house while my wife was back in our old place across the state wrapping up last minute details.

I had a long list of things I needed to get done. One of those things was to procure a microwave. We did not bring our microwave from our previous house because XXXXXX.

Perhaps it was the blur of the move that allowed my wife to put that purchase in my camp.

So I did what was natural to me – I went to a retail store, found a microwave that was SUPER cheap, and headed for the exit.

When my wife got to the house a few days later, she saw the microwave and said, “Why is it so small?”

“Well, it was only like $25.”

“I think you got a microwave for a dorm.”

Well, we had a new home and kids starting school in a new town in a few days, so I think my wife just decided she’d live with the microwave that probably had once dreamed of making nothing but Ramen noodles for its career.

Well, life got in the way, and we never got around to replacing it. But o ver time, we found more and more things we disliked about the little microwave that couldn’t. It was indeed very small, and some of our bowls didn’t even fit in it. It took about 15 minutes to cook a single baked potato. And starting last year, it began making a weird grinding noise when the glass platter inside turned. That is, when it actually turned.

And then quarantine happened. And my wife said, “I’m going shopping for a microwave.” I said, “You’re going to the store?” She said, “Nope, as she settled into her chair with her laptop.”

Then, for the next, like, two days, she researched microwaves. She read comparisons. Took measurements. Like, actual research.

A few days later, a package arrived at the door. A package much larger than one that would be needed for our current microwave.

I opened it up. And there it was – a big, beautiful, fully functioning microwave.

I nestled it up on the counter, which had been occupied for years with a comically undersized shoebox of a microwave. It looked like what an actual grown-up would have in their kitchen.

And the first time I cooked with it? REALLY overcooked a microwave lunch pizza. Because I forgot you don’t have to like triple the time it says on the package, since this thing actually works.

The kids even remarked on how much they liked it, including the feature where they can press a button and it adds 30 seconds to their dish. Because that is the kind of hardships they have had to endure.

So I now feel as if we have a complete kitchen, and I am now cleared of my microwave sin. And most importantly, I think we’ve all learned an important lesson: Don’t leave me in charge of things like this.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

Since my son has started driving, I have encouraged him to make sure that he finds a standard place to leave his wallet and keys in the house every time he comes home.

I am practically robotic about this, leaving mine in the same little nook and cranny. My routines are simple – I set my keys in a basket on our counter, and I set my wallet in – I will never tell. I don’t need you coming and finding my wallet that is devoid of anything useful other than my license, my bank card and, for some reason, an expired library card from where I used to live. I’m on to you. You will NOT get my expired library card.

I would like to think we are teaching him well on this, and I would celebrate that we are, except for the almost nightly ritual when my son heads to work when he says, “I can’t find my keys!!!” (Spoiler alert: They are usually in the couch cushions.)

He was pretty good about his wallet, however. Because he is 17, his wallet doesn’t contain much: driver’s license and a few random bucks he got for an odd job here or there.

But the other night, he could not find his wallet. He enlisted the support of my wife and me, who began to go through the house on the search.

For what it’s worth, my wife is the expert on finding lost items. She does this forensic thing where she grills you about where you last had said item in a ridiculous CSI protocol that is equally effective and annoying. It’s effective because it works. It’s annoying because it almost always works, and she has this insane ability to find things after asking you question after question until you say, “Oh, wait, I did pull my wallet out in the bathroom while I was looking for a cleaner.” And boom – there is your wallet in the downstairs bathroom cabinet for some inexplicable reason.

Alas, this time, even her grilling could not yield results. Despite the intense questioning, we could not find the wallet. 

Fast forward to a few hours later. My wife and I had left the house for a bit, and I got a call from my son. He was out in the front yard chilling out in the early evening. A police officer rolled up in front of our house. He had his wallet. Someone had found it on the road and had turned it into the police.

Parker’s best guess: The last time he had left the house, he went to drop his wallet in the side door pocket and missed, and when he did a quick open-and-shut a bit later when he realized his door was not shut entirely, it fell out on the road.

It has some tire marks on it, but everything was returned to him. He even had some cash in the wallet, and that was still in there, too. Thank you, kind stranger, for being the good we need in the world. 

Folks, in these rough times, let’s not forget that there is a lot of that good in the world. We are, overall, a decent group of mammals. Keep paying it forward. Keep doing what’s right. And keep finding a place to keep your wallet and keys.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

Hey, friends. You hanging in there? Unlike any other time in my life, the last few weeks have been the great equalizer. We’re all in this together. While we still have some tough times to get through, I hope you are staying safe and strong. And when you can’t be strong, I hope there are people in your life who can either pick you up or let you know that it’s OK. And when the strength returns, I hope you are there for them. 

I know that we wonder if we will ever get back to any sense of normalcy. And we will. But it will be a different normal. Things are going to be different at the end of this.

But don’t let that bring you down. Rather, let’s think of the good things that are going to come out of this. For example:

• We may be done with paper receipts forever. I have never liked paper receipts, and I love it when a store has the option to email it to me. Not having to be handed a small piece of paper every time you go shopping which will then go straight to the trash will no longer be necessary. Also, this should save CVS roughly $500 billion a year.
• A lot of us may come out of this healthier. I have seen more folks walking or biking in my neighborhood than I ever have. And it’s great. Some fresh air, a little sun and some exercise? Good for all of us.
• Hopefully, those tape marks six feet apart at stores will stick around. I have always been a big personal space kinda fella, and this is one of the huge upsides to this for me. I didn’t ever need to feel a shopper’s breath behind me before, and I’m a-ok with it being like this after.
• We could be looking at the greatest weekend of sports ever. Yes, I know that there is a chance of this dragging out longer. But hear me out people: If everyone will just listen to what the experts are saying and stay home as much as possible, we could, maybe, see a weekend in the fall that looks like this: Saturday: College Gameday in the morning. College football at noon. NBA finals in the afternoon. World Series on Saturday night. Sunday: A full slate of NFL games. Sunday afternoon – back nine at Augusta National for The Masters. Sunday night – we all just lie there, staring at the ceiling grinning at the Greatest. Sports. Weekend. Ever.
• Oh, man. Teachers – are you gonna get some amazing back to school gifts to start the year. Yes, I know we don’t usually do back to school gifts. But trust me – assuming kids don’t get back into school until August, parents are going to be sending them with wheelbarrows of thanks and notes that read things such as, “We never took you for granted. We promise! But please enjoy this case of wine as a small token of our appreciation of just how much we absolutely don’t take you for granted now.”
• We might all kinda realize a lot of us have way more stuff than we actually need. I’m not anti-consumer or anything. And I think stuff that brings you happiness is great. But most of us have gone two weeks or more without just, you know, buying random stuff and we’re none the worse for that. There are plenty of times when I go to a nearby big box store for a couple of items and end up buying said items and then some socks, a shirt, maybe a pair of shoes, and, I don’t know, maybe a fishing rod. Maybe I don’t need all of this stuff? Maybe I should make sure everything in my house is being used before I bring in new additions?

Look, I don’t know how any of this is going to shake out. I hope it ends sooner than later like we all do. But I just hope that when we find this thing in our rearview mirrors, we remember where we were during these times, and remember that a lot of us have it pretty good with everything we have right at our homes.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.

 

Hi, friends. Y’all doing OK? 

I know this has been a tough run of late. But we are all in this together. Except, you know, not, like, close together.

I’m not going to give you any great insight on how we are all gonna power through this. Because I’m no wiser than anyone else on the planet, and let’s be honest – the wisest people on the planet are all kinda figuring this out as we go. Because these are unprecedented times. But I did want to perhaps offer you some distraction action to get you through your quarantine.

So here is what I can give you: A few things you can do during this time to keep your sanity. Also, I will not remind you to wash your hands, because let’s be honest – if you haven’t gotten that message by now…

• Bake bread. But not the traditional way. My aunt shared a way to cook bread in a slow cooker. I was skeptical at first, but after doing it, I am sold. A couple of hours in a slow cooker, a few minutes under a broiler and – BOOM! – delicious fresh bread. Recipe here: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a54771/slow-cooker-bread-recipe/?fbclid=IwAR3pOeQRWvNe2O-9ta8fI4A0kKQYIhbrLN9p0p6zNbBIJIl6nCePV1v9A3s
• Inventory your spices. If you are like me, you have a lot of spices. I had two shelves full of spices we have collected over the years. And fun fact – spices have expiration dates on them. I challenge you to go and assess yours and see just how up to date your marjoram and coriander are. And also to tell me what in the world marjoram and coriander are for.
• Feed the birds. Obviously, if you have bird seed, make it plentiful for them. But if you are cleaning out your fridge or pantry and have some mushy tomatoes or stale crackers, share it with your winged buddies.
• Find a podcast that is a delightful distraction from reality. Personally, I recommend Stuff You Should Know, a podcast that I have listened to for years. Among the topics you can explore – “Was there a real King Arthur,” “The amazing history of soda,” and “How pinball works.” Trust me – it’s the kind of distraction you need right now.
• Scroll through your contacts. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Over the last few days, I’ve connected with buddies from high school and college, and enjoyed catching up with them beyond social media. There really is no substitute for one-on-one conversations.
• Tune out. Not forever. But just on occasion. My wife and I sat watching morning news programs on Sunday and we both came to this realization – we cannot let this consume us. We will watch the evening news and stay informed, but sitting in front of a tv or, worse, in front of Twitter refreshing ad nauseam is not healthy. We spent our Sunday working in the yard, and it was a wonderful day. We don’t deny that Corona is out there. But we don’t have to spend every minute thinking about it. Control what we can control.
• Say hi to your neighbors. We have been walking a good bit lately, just to get out of the house. And we have found a ton of neighbors out in their yards or walking dogs or riding bikes. We have loved stopping and chatting with folks and just shooting the breeze. We are all starved for personal interaction, so why not start with the folks who live in your neighborhood?
• Take a class. There are a ton of higher education institutions offering free classes during this time. My wife is now enrolled in a class at Yale. Go be an Ivy Leaguer.

I know this is a tough time. None of us have it figured out. But the ironic beauty of it all is that is a great equalizer: We are all going through this together. Rich and poor, young and old. This is an equal opportunity disrailer. So rather than despair, embrace this time. Do some things you wouldn’t have normally done. And figure out if your marjoram is out of date.

Mike Gibbons was born and raised in Aiken, S.C. A graduate of the University of Alabama, you can e-mail him at scmgibbons@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @StandardMike.