I try to be a courteous driver. And with that comes resisting the urge to become a vengeful road vigilante when other drivers are not.
Granted, if I did go to vigilante mode, it would be super passive-aggressive, where I would do something like leave a note on someone’s car window long after I was sure they were nowhere around to see me place it.
Like any parent should, I love to regale my kids of the times of my youth, when we had to take on the world without the luxuries they enjoy today.
I tell them of how we had to remember actual phone numbers, and further amaze them with the fact my phone number as a kid was only five numbers. Bonus points if I throw in we dialed on a rotary phone.
My daughter and I were in the car the other day, listening to a stand-up special we had downloaded from Netflix.
Before I continue, please take a moment to realize how awesome that is: I pushed a couple of places on my phone screen and an hour-long stand-up special was suddenly playing over my car speakers via, I guess, magic. Or maybe technology. Who really knows.
There are two things I firmly believe – order and karma.
OK, there are quite a few other things I believe in, but that list could get kinda long. “I believe that dogs are neat. I believe Marvel movies are quite entertaining…”
Such wisdom from a teenager: “Dad, don’t tell Mom ‘I told you so,’ ok?”
I took a deep breath. “I can’t promise you that.”
My daughter and I were trying to replace a gazebo canopy on our back deck, and this was moments after we realized we had gotten the wrong size.
My wife and I have been together for more than 20 years. So suffice to say, I can determine with fairly good accuracy what situation awaits when I hear my name called from another room at a louder than usual level.
Folks, here is one truth I know: There is only one correct response if your significant other says, “You go on. I’ll call the fire department.”
That’s right – hit the road! You’ve been given the green light, and your best guy/gal is shouldering the worries of whatever the fire department may be coming out to tend to so go take on the world!
I used to have a very simple three-part checklist to go over when purchasing a new lawnmower:
- Does it meet my wife’s pre-approved budgetary ceiling?
- Does it start after one or two pulls?
- Can it roll over any and everything its path — including but not limited to sticks, rocks, toys, lawn furniture and laundry that has fallen off a clothesline — and still keep grinding away?
We were having dinner the other night, and we decided a good topic of conversation would be “The times we tricked you foolish, foolish children.”
OK, so that wasn’t expressly what was stated at the beginning, but the conversation did head that way. My kids are teens now, and we find it fun to look back on when they were little and my wife and I navigated the parenting waters and we maybe used a smidge of literary license to help us get through the day. I am sure other parents can relate. For those of you with young kids or planning on having kids in the future, tuck some of these away for future use.
I think we can all agree that the single most fun day a family can celebrate together is Cleaning Day.
Just listen to the shouts of joy from the kids! (Teenagers shouts of joy sound strangely similar to whines and moans.)