Sweet little lies

Years ago, a co-worker was debating whether or not his new daughter would be introduced to Santa Claus.

His conundrum was whether or not he was lying to this child, and if that was a precedent he wanted to set. At that time, I already had two kids, and we were full on into the “Of course you lie to them” mode, so I explained that lying to your children was probably one of the few things that would get you through parenting relatively sane.

Gone fishin’ (for an explanation of what in the world you’re talking about)

parker-tackle-boxAs a parent of two teenagers, I spent a good bit of my time asking, “What are you talking about?”

This can range anywhere from goings on at school to current pop culture to inside jokes that I probably don’t want to know what they are talking about.

Wait, wait, don’t call me. Until 11.

My daughter and I were in the car the other day, listening to a stand-up special we had downloaded from Netflix.

Before I continue, please take a moment to realize how awesome that is: I pushed a couple of places on my phone screen and an hour-long stand-up special was suddenly playing over my car speakers via, I guess, magic. Or maybe technology. Who really knows.

COWS! and other parenting tricks

We were having dinner the other night, and we decided a good topic of conversation would be “The times we tricked you foolish, foolish children.”

OK, so that wasn’t expressly what was stated at the beginning, but the conversation did head that way. My kids are teens now, and we find it fun to look back on when they were little and my wife and I navigated the parenting waters and we maybe used a smidge of literary license to help us get through the day. I am sure other parents can relate. For those of you with young kids or planning on having kids in the future, tuck some of these away for future use.

Unfortunate life experience checklist item? Check.

I’m no fan of cliches. I try to avoid them in my writing and in my everyday speech. In fact, I avoid them like the plague.

Ha! See what I did there?

Anywho, I recently rattled off a couple of cliches that, in retrospect, were two of the most true things I’ve ever said: “I’m just glad no one was hurt” and “We can replace a car. We can’t replace you.”